Stewards of Grace

grace: the defining factor of my life
grace: the root of my identity in Christ
grace: the purpose of the cross
grace: the beauty in the gospel
grace: the overflow of our Father's love
grace: the message for this broken world

2 Timothy 2:1
“Be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus.”

By the oh so precious grace of God, a deep love for the Haitian people was placed on my heart almost six years ago and radically changed every aspect of my life in result. These past six years have been anything but ordinary. My life has been far from traditional, my heart cries more than ever, and my desires very distant from the American dream. Consequently, I have found myself countless times overwhelmed by the profound greatness of the attributes of God. This week, I am in awe of His grace.

2 Corinthians 8:9 
“For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ: Though He was rich for your sake He became poor, so that by His poverty you might become rich.”

How sweet the grace of the Lord that I got to spend this week doing what my heart desperately yearns to do with people my soul adores. In the past year, the Lord has been teaching me what being a steward of grace is. This week, the Lord invited me to be a steward of His grace in ways that distinctly show different aspects of my heart. Here's a picture of my heart: discipleship in Haiti, the mountains of Haiti, deep theological discussions, family, friends, and feeling His presence tangibly. By His grace alone, this is what this past week has consisted of. We went to the mountains two days to share the gospel through the Christmas story and worship with the kids there. These churches were not easy to get to by any means. We had long truck rides and tough hikes on steep hills covered with slippery mud. God's provisions were made apparent in obvious ways that were super cool. I don’t know what it is about standing on top of a mountain and looking out to the endless mountain tops that excites me beyond belief. It excites me to see God’s handiwork and be reminded of His great size. It excites me knowing that God can move mountains. And it excites me for the calling that the Lord has placed on my life. It excites me when He reveals His mountains and mountains of grace. Monday through Thursday, we had Bible studies with the teenagers in the church of a dear friend of mine. We walked through the Bible and studied how it pointed to Jesus and the command to go and make disciples. We had planned for these Bible studies for a while, but the majority of the time in these studies were spent answering very well thought out and challenging questions about God. We spent several hours this week answering these young people's questions. These were not your "typical hard questions" like predestination or evolution. We got to work out some really cool things about who God is and the truth of the gospel. These people truly had a hunger and thirst for knowledge of the Lord. Some of these people, I had spent a week evangelizing with this summer. I knew their hearts for the lost and seeing them ask these deep questions was so encouraging. There was one dude who definitely had the most questions of the group. By the end of the week, he told us that he had been praying for so long for someone to answer these questions we had. How cool is the grace of the Lord that He used 12 college-aged vessels to answer a Haitian teenager’s prayers. These teenagers expressed their gratitude for us studying God’s Word with them this week and told us they were going to use what they learned to spread the gospel. That is God right there. That is incredible. Oh man is He good. 

Ephesians 2:8-10
“For you are saved by grace through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God’s gift— not from works, so that no one can boast. For we are His creation, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time so that we should walk in them.”

This grace that poured out as the blood of our Savior dripped down from the cross a couple thousand years ago continues to flood us on a daily basis. By His grace, He rocked my world almost six years ago. By His grace, I came to Samford a year early. By His grace, He called me to lead a team to Haiti. By His grace, I got to have one of my best friend’s by my side loving the Lord with all we’ve got together. By His grace, I got to serve on mountaintops. By His grace, He used us to answer questions about the truth. By His grace, we got to be stewards of His grace. The gospel is a gift of grace. We are to be stewards of this gift. We are not to throw it around like its a cheap present. It is a priceless gift, and we must be wise in how we share it. Especially in a culture different than our own, it is important to look at how the gospel can be shared most effectively. By His grace, we get to tell of His grace which is the gospel. It is His grace that commands us to go, equips us to share, and strengthens us to love. We are messengers by His grace with a message of beautiful grace. We plant seeds of grace so that tiny plants can break through the soil to grow into oaks of righteousness. We are stewards of grace.

At church on Sunday, a lady sang a beautiful song with these words in the chorus: “Mwen vld kache anba gras ou.” — “I want to hide under Your grace.”


2 Timothy 1:6, 8-10
“For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God… So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me His prisoner. But join me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God, who has saved us and called us to a holy life— not because of anything we have one but because of His own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time, but it has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel.”

Ephesians 3:7
“I was made a servant of this gospel by the gift of God’s grace that was given me by the working of His power.”

Its not my story.

Reading about Stephen in the book of Acts always inspires me and challenges me. But when I read Acts 7 one morning on the front porch of the mission house overlooking the orphanage, God revealed to me a beautiful truth. While I've been here in Haiti, I have been trying to write some of the incredible testimonies of pastors, translators, and friends here. But when I read this chapter in Acts after listening to these people's stories, a new meaning was given to this passage. In Acts 7, Stephen has been brought before the authorities to give him a chance to present his case. His defense statement began with Abraham. He basically walked them through the Old Testament to Jesus and to himself as his testimony. This is when I realized, Stephen's story is not his story but God's. Abraham and Stephen are a part of the same story. Stephen and I are a part of the same story. As Christians, all of our lives are a part of God's story. The story of redemption and grace. The story of love and power. All of our personal testimonies are excerpts of God's story. Its not our story at all. As a result, I would like to share some of these pieces of God's story with you.

Bertrand's Story // Evangelism is manifesting the hope of salvation into a world full of souls.

Bertrand is a fulltime translator for Children's Hope. He works in the medical clinic evangelizing to each patient that comes. Every Saturday he goes and visits patients who accepted Christ that week. Evangelism is his heart. Bertrand blesses every person he talks to with his encouraging and kind spirit. He is an inspiration to be bold in faith and to show compassion always. God has given Bertrand a heart for the lost. Bertrand came to know the Lord as his personal Savior when his dad took him to a revival at their church. Since that day, the Lord began burdening Bertrand's heart for the lost. One day, Bertrand and his younger brother went to a local hospital and began sharing the gospel with patients there. Five people accepted Christ that day. Ever since then, evangelism has been a huge part of Bertrand's life. He has been passionately sharing the gospel for the past fourteen years. Bertrand is constantly emptying of Himself because he longs to be full of the Spirit of God. The Lord’s Spirit overflows from Bertrand through his actions and his words. Bertrand stated, “I love Jesus so much.” When talking about how he is continuing to share about God’s love and power and giving God the glory, he exclaimed, “Nobody can stop me.”

Nader's Story // God is our Powerful Healer at all times.

Nader drives Children's Hope's mission teams back and forth from Port Au Prince to Jacmel.

Nader grew up with a father who practiced Voodoo. In 1985, Nader became very sick. This sickness consumed his appetite and ability to sleep. His father searched in the Voodoo realm for healing. No cure was found. Nader searched everywhere for a cure, but not one was found. Searching for things in darkness without light is impossible. One day, Nader heard a voice telling him to go to a prayer meeting. He looked around to see the owner of this voice but searched in vain. Nader’s sister, who he had not spoken to in a long time, came to his house and asked where he was going. Nader responded that he was going to a prayer meeting. His sister excitedly asked Nader to follow her there. Without his sister, he would not have known the way to the prayer meeting. At the prayer meeting, which was held in someone’s home, God spoke powerfully and directly to Nader. The preacher spoke of things so personal to Nader that there was no denying the power of the Holy Spirit in the room. To the most precise details God called out to Nader in the powerful and personal way that our God works. Nader heard the voice again exclaiming, “Accept me, accept me.” Nader looked around to see where the voice was coming from and again searched in vain. 

Nader went to one of the only churches he knew of at the time in Port-au-Prince. He told the preacher that he was ready to accept Christ that day. The pastor said that he was about to do a wedding but afterwards, he would meet with Nader and his family to pray with them. That day, Nader and his wife accepted Jesus Christ into their lives promising to follow Him alone always. That night, Nader, who hadn’t slept in weeks, laid down his head and fell asleep almost instantly. While he was sleeping, he had a dream. In this dream, he heard someone knocking at his door. A white man appeared, but his face could not be seen. The man announced to Nader, “I have come into your heart today. I am here to stay.” The next morning when Nader awoke, his fever was completely gone and his appetite had returned. This instantaneous healing from the Lord happened in his heart and in his body. Praise the Lord! Nader’s gratitude to the Lord for saving him still remains as fervent today as it was the day of his salvation.


Emile's Story // By God's Power Alone

Emile works as a translator for Children's Hope. Emile's sweet spirit extracts the grace of the Lord into this world.

At the age of three, Emile became very sick. His throat was so swollen that it caused many other health problems. He was constantly in pain. His parents took him to countless doctors to help find a cure. Finally many years later, one doctor told them that there was not a cure for Emile's condition. Out of desperation, Emile prayed to the Lord, "You are the Lord of lords and You are a powerful God. I know that nothing is impossible for you. You can overcome my challenge. I have to serve You, God. Please don't let me be ashamed. My destiny is to follow and serve you forever." He went to his church family and asked them to pray for him. It was at this time that Emile was baptized. He kept praying and praying trusting the Lord all the way. Then the Lord miraculously healed Emile completely. There was no earthly explanation to his healing. It was by the supernatural power of the Lord of the universe that erased the illness from his life. Recognizing this, Emile praised God for every good thing He had given him. He thanked God for working in and all around his life for His glory. Emile came to know in a real and powerful way that God who rescued him will always rescue him in every situation and that He is the God of the past, present, and future. God can change anything. 

Madam Gèna's Story // Forgiven to love.

Madam Gèna is a nanny of the older girls at Children’s Hope. When I think of Madam Gèna, I think of above and beyond. She does not merely love others, she overflows with passionate love. She is not simply a joyful person, she radiates the joy of Christ. Her fullness of the Spirit is obvious in the simplest things she does—her hugs, her smiles, her acts of kindness, and her encouraging words. How beautiful it is to watch this wonderful woman make lasting impacts on the next generation of this country.
Madam Gèna was born in Jacmel. She was raised in a Christian Evangelical home, but her faith was not originally her own. When she went to the Dominican Republic to study in school, she got baptized. She dedicated her life to the Lord. As she was describing this encounter with the Lord, she went on and on about forgiveness. She spoke about the importance of forgiving others. She powerfully reminded me of the woman in Luke 7. “And behold, a woman in the city who was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at the table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of fragrant oil, and stood at His feet behind Him weeping; and she began to wash His feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head and kissed His feet and anointed them with fragrant oil.” Jesus said about her later in the chapter, “Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.” Madam Gèna, like every other human on this earth, has sinned. Unfortunately, unlike many of us, we have failed to see the severity in our sin and therefore missed the greatness of our Savior. As a result, many of us can learn from Madam Gèna’s fervor for the Lord. She knows how much she has been forgiven; consequently, she has dedicated her life to passionately and joyfully serving her precious Savior by overflowing with the Spirit of the Holy Spirit.

Pastor Nicolas' Story // A true hunger and thirst for the Word is so important in Christian leadership.

Nicolas is literally one of kind. He is an administrator of the orphanage of Children's Hope who just graduated seminary, is an extraordinary father to two beautiful children, is the beloved pastor of a church in the mountains of Cap Rouge, and a dear mentor and friend to myself. Nicolas grew up in the mountains outside of Jacmel in a Catholic household. It wasn't until he traveled to the Dominican Republic to study engineering that someone told him the truth about Jesus Christ. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, Nicolas accepted the Lord as his Savior on September 18, 2007. Scripture was such a mystery to him, and he began to hunger and thirst desperately for the Word. He began attending a Bible study and started to grow deeply in his relationship with the Lord. 

The Lord has done some big things in Nicolas' life. One of these is his call to ministry. Nicolas has been a pastor of a church in his hometown for the past two years. He travels up the mountain every weekend with his family to study the Bible with the male leaders of the community. Several are coming to know the Lord in this area, and even more are growing closer to God and following Him in obedience. Another big thing the Lord has done through Nicolas is save his parents through crusades that Nicolas led. Nicolas is an encouragement to follow the Lord with overwhelming joy and sacrificial obedience. Nicolas encourages others by his testimony and his true love of kingdom expansion. "Go. I just love to go." -- One of his favorite Scriptures: Matthew 28:19

These past six weeks in Haiti, I didn't solve any great problems. I didn't rescue child slaves, I didn't feed starving babies, I didn't provide jobs for the unemployed, I didn't do anything drastic. I could come away thinking that I should count this as a loss, but I'm not. Because I was obedient. And I know one thing for sure: I loved deeply. I loved people. This love was made even more effective through my Creole (still learning a lot). I was able to sit down and have conversations about deeper things. I learned an endless amount from people. People is what its all about. Jesus died for people. My summer might not have looked miraculously, but I believe it was a lot of preparation. God uses people who are willing to prepare and during their preparation. Its exciting following our great God! 

Being

Before coming to Haiti for these six weeks, the Lord touched my heart for discipleship. In past trips, I have primarily focused on evangelism. While evangelism is great and greatly needed, making disciples is truly what we are commanded to do. We are called to make disciples and those disciples will make more disciples and so on. So before coming here, I was thinking of all these methods on how I was going to make disciples. I spend a lot of time doing organizational things and random tasks. And I have been doing a school program with about twenty children ranging in age from 5 to about 20. I knew that this was going to be an amazing opportunity for discipleship because I had time to get to know them and had their attention. But other than this program, I had no idea how I was going to make disciples. So I presented it before the Lord daily. But I was looking for what I could DO not what I could BE.

On the mission field in a third world country, it is so easy to get caught in the trap of legalism. It is so easy to be task-oriented. It is so easy to be more concerned about what you are doing than how you are living and being. When you're forced to be constantly aware of cultural differences and whether you are helping or hurting in actuality, it is easy to be overcome by what you are doing. However, this is the complete opposite of what missions is supposed to look like. Missions is BEING. Its BEING like Christ. Its BEING in a relationship with Him. Its BEING in relationships with others. Its BEING in Christ in a world of devastation. Missions/discipleship is not about doing, its about being. So as the Lord's response to my questioning of how I could make disciples, He said, "Just be."

BE obedient.
When the Lord calls you to the mountains of Haiti, you must get on a moto and go. It is this obedience that opens the door for miracles and for you to be a part of the impossible.

BE faithful.
Just being and not doing requires faith that God is going to be the one DOING.
"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." -- Hebrews 11:1

Be fearless.
This past week, I learned a lot about some beliefs about the "invisible world" coming from the Voodoo culture. I have learned some crazy things about Voodoo and its scary. How incredible is the joy of the Lord that it erases all fears. How obvious is the presence of the Lord that being afraid is irrational. We can walk around without fear of evil things because our God is so good and so powerful.

Be loving.
Love without caution. Love without limits. Let everyone know you love them deeply because you have a Father who loves this world even deeper.

Be compassionate.
Be compassionate but not full of pity. Compassion should have no intention of looking down but of lifting up to the Savior instead.

Be humble.
Being outside of your comfort zone requires a humble heart.
"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." -- Ephesians 4:2

Be kind.
Always look for ways to do small acts of kindness. Maintain a servant's heart.

Be a friend.
I honestly think this is the biggest one when it comes to discipleship here in Haiti. Haitians can sit around and talk for hours. It is sharing conversations as friends that leads to conversations about beliefs and growing in our walk with the Lord. Friends just have fun together and share experiences of daily living.
"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." -- Proverbs 27:17

Be there.
And friends can do absolutely nothing except be together. Yesterday one of our workers cut his finger really badly and had to have a small operation. Three of us stayed at the hospital for about five hours with him. During this time, I realized that this was friendship. We were there because we cared about Claude. Being there for someone is evidence of caring for them.

Be an example.
Here in Haiti, I stand out a lot. With this reality comes a great responsibility of always being an example of Christ.

Be His temple.
We are the dwelling place of Christ. The Lord's presence is within us. And when we apply His word, His presence overflows from us.
"This is how we know that we live in Him and He in us: He has given us of His Spirit." -- 1 John 4:13

Be unashamed.
This is something that Haitians have reiterated to me over and over again in their daily lives and in their faith. Not being embarrassed but being honest with what is going on is so important. Be completely consumed by the Spirit of the Lord that others' opinions have no effect on you.
"For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes." -- Romans 1:16

Be Christ.
Being His and being like Him is our job. The doing is God's work. When we are being, God is doing. He is doing great things. He is doing things that we can't even see.

Topped the week off by riding sidesaddle up a mountain to go to church this morning. This is the church of a dear, dear friend. It was so neat to see where he grew up, meet his family, and see his church body of great faith.

I had to add this pic because I think I'm cool.

Mountains Beyond Mountains

the hum of the waves crashing in the distance below,

the silence of the mountains shouting the wonders of our Creator,

the quiet rustle of the leaves blowing in the wind, 

the sun peaking through the trees as it rises to start the day,

the constant chatter of the women at work, 

the stillness of my soul cries out of how great our God is

<an attempt to describe the atmosphere of my quiet time with the Lord each morning in the mountains this week>

This past week I spent the week in the beautiful mountains of Haiti with about thirteen other Haitian sisters in Christ. This group is a choir from a local church in Jacmel. The pastor of this church is a great friend of mine who constantly encourages me and inspires me. He is completely sold out for our Savior and he shows it in the way that he pours into his church. He has discipled his church and now they are on mission. They graciously allowed for me to be a part of their group this week. Our mission was simple: share the gospel. We did door to door evangelism in the mornings, held crusades in the evening, and showed Christian films at night. To say the least, we saw God do big things this week. We saw lost become found, we saw lives transform before our eyes, we experienced a sisterhood through the blood of Christ, and we worshipped a big, big God. About fifteen people came to know the Lord as their Lord and Savior. One of these new believers attended the crusade every evening, and watching this new believer worship his heart out was so humbling. The bond formed between this group of sisters in Christ is something I will treasure in my heart forever. Yes, I was the only white person within miles, but I often forgot this. The blind love that we shared created a pure transparency between us. These women of faith inspired me, loved me, laughed with me, and taught me. They taught me boldness and showed me shameless faith. They taught me how to carry water on my head and showed me graceful interdependence. They taught me how to wash dishes on the side of a mountain and they showed me wholehearted worship. If we did anything this week, we worshipped our Savior. At five o’clock in the morning, these women woke up singing praises with a candlelight to see the hymnal. (I have to admit, I might have dozed a little bit through this hourlong worship session.) We worshipped the Lord in song as we walked from house to house to evangelize. We worshipped for hours together at the crusades each evening.

I learned so many things this week but the Lord gave me a parallel that I think sums up the week most accurately. So here it is. Each morning as we trekked the mountains to share the gospel with people at their homes, I had to keep my eyes on the ground the whole entire time. I had to literally watch my feet land on the ground in order to keep my balance on the steep rocky terrain. I couldn't see what was in front of me until we stopped walking and I could look up. Haitians, on the other hand, didn't have this problem as much. They could look straight ahead and trust that their feet would be placed where they needed to be. They could even carry the great weight of a bucket of water on their head while climbing the mountain. As I was thinking about this, Hebrews 12:1-2 came to mind. It says, "Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. For the joy set before Him He endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." The Haitians have trained their feet to walk on the rough, steep paths because they have been "fixing their eyes" on the ground since they could walk. Because of this, they no longer had to stare at the ground but could see what was in front of them and even carry weight on their heads. Similarly, when we have fixed our eyes on Christ for so long, our hearts can be trained to be able to look straight ahead. We can look straight ahead to see the needs of this world. And we can achieve the balance needed to carry burdens as we continue walking. With our balance in check, we can also offer a hand to the person struggling with their footing (me). We must fix our eyes on Christ so fervently so that we can look straight ahead into this world and still see Him. You can see Him at work. You can see where Christ is needed. You can carry heavy loads of stress, hurt, and struggles. You can see the wonders of God like mountains beyond mountains and oceans that seem to never end. You can lend a helping hand to your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ as they climb the mountain beside you. 

(Haitians, I learned this week, eat a ton! I was unable to keep up, so they made a deal with me. If I could finish my meal, then they would give me 5 gourds to buy a sucker. It became a joke of the week, and this is my sweet friend who got me my lollipop!)

Yes, I learned a lot of things this week. I learned to “be Haitian” for a week. I learned a new sense of dependence on the Lord. I learned new Creole songs. I learned the importance of transparency as a child of God. I relearned the value of brotherly (in this case, sisterly) love. I learned just how compassionate Haitians are. I learned to love big, because our God is big. I learned a lot about how Haitians live and new things about the culture here in Haiti. But I also learned, that no matter how much time I spend here, how much of the language I learn, and how many Haitian friends I call family; I will never be Haitian. I cannot change my location of birth. Just like as children of God, no matter how hard we try, we will never be able to change our location of our true home. No matter how hard we try, we will never be of this world. All children of God have their citizenship in heaven. Therefore, our location of natural birth is irrelevant in terms of forever. I thank God for this truth, and the miracle of sharing the hope of the gospel that unites the Body of Christ. 

We instantly became friends this week as we share the same age. She has the sweetest heart I have ever seen!

Isaiah 12:2-5 

“Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The LORD, the LORD Himself, is my strength and defense; He has become my salvation. With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation. In that day you will say: Give praise to the LORD, proclaim His name, make known amount the nations what He has done, and proclaim that His name is exalted. Sing to the Lord for He has done glorious things; let this be known to all the world.”

Isaiah 61:1-3

“The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.”

The Three R's of Surrender

Exodus 23:14-16- "Three times a year you are to celebrate a festival to me. 

Celebrate the Feast of Unleavened Bread; for seven days eat bread without yeast, as I commanded you. Do this at the appointed time in the month of Abib, for in that month you came out of Egypt. No one is to appear before me empty handed. 

Celebrate the Feast of Harvest with the first fruits of the crops you sow in your field.

Celebrate the Feast of Ingathering at the end of the year, when you gather in your crops from the field."

The Lord specifically said these festivals were to be celebrations. For the Feast of Unleavened Bread, the Israelites were to celebrate by remembering how God has rescued them from slavery. For the Feast of Harvest, the Israelites were to celebrate God's abundant crops He had provided. For the Feast of Ingathering, the Israelites were to gather up what The Lord had provided and press on. 

As I study this passage, I am overwhelmed by its relevancy to me thousands of years later. I am going to be very honest, surrendering is HARD. There is a difference between needing to surrender and wanting to surrender. We all need to surrender, and we all need God. Frequently I find that this need is my fuel instead of my wanting for The Lord. Sometimes I don't want to surrender when it's hard or not beneficial to me. When I read this passage in Exodus, The Lord directed me in the importance of the purpose of these feasts:

We must 1) remember all of what The Lord has done for us, 2) recognize His provisions all around us, and 3) regroup to press on. This is how The Lord wants us to act when we 'don't want' to surrender.

REMEMBER all of what The Lord has done for us. I was able to reflect this week in Haiti on what The Lord has done.  Reflection of what He has done for all mankind, what He has done for me personally, and what He has done through the ministry of Children's Hope. He is the Almighty Savior and Redeemer who humbled Himself to love us sacrificially. Keeping our eyes on Christ is a decision we make through the power of God, so that we may be constantly reminded of who He is and that we are His. Not only has He saved this world by grace, but He has held me and led me with mercy. I mess up so much, yet His mercies are new every morning. He has blessed me beyond compare with things I could never have imagined. One of the greatest examples of this is the heart for Haiti He has given me. He has redeemed me, loved me, and used me for His glory alone. This week has been a time of remembering how far God has brought Children's Hope. August 2010, there were 16 children living in a tent. February 2015, there are over 40 children being nourished in Christ's love, 8 schools full of children whose health has remarkably gotten better with the feeding program, and a medical clinic was opened on Thursday. (I was with a medical team this week, and God's power throughout the past few years had produced fruit that we were able to see this week.) To God be the glory! You cannot look back and remember what God has done and not stand in awe.

RECOGNIZE His provisions all around us. This week I recognized His provisions through relationships. There are no words to describe how grateful I am for the relationships I have because of Haiti. From neighbors to staff to the children to translators to missionaries, The Lord has taught me, molded me, and blessed me so much because of these relationships. I see His provisions in that he has given so many Haitians hearts to serve others and love Him with all of their hearts. I see His provisions in that His mercies are new every morning. I see His provisions in that He gives me today my daily bread without fail. You cannot look around you and see God as the great Provider and not be encouraged in faith.

REGROUP and press on. This is the most important step of surrender. This is the plan of action. This is the release. This is the giving up of situations you can't control and the giving up of your selfish desires. This is where you step out in faith. This is the 'scary' part of surrender, and that's why it's the last. We have seen God's power by looking back and have seen God's provision by looking around, so we know He is more than trustworthy. We can trust Him with our hearts, with our lives, and with those we love. We can trust Him. 

Surrendering can be so hard. Sometimes I feel like I have to surrender to surrender. Sometimes I feel so guilty for my inability to surrender. My Dad gently reminded me that this guilt is cheating God of His grace that He longs to show me. God reminds me that His awesome power lives within me. Colossians 2:9-10- "For on Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority." And He calls when we answer and when we cry for him to fill us up. Psalm 81:1&10- "Sing for joy to God our strength... I am The Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt. Open wide your mouth and I will fill it." So let go of what you're holding to hold your Heavenly Father's hand and open your mouth wide. God is in control in everything. God has everything in control with each of us, and He has everything in control despite corruption and darkness of Haiti. He is in control, because He has the whole world in His hands and loves His people more than our hearts have the capacity to comprehend.

I could go on and on to list the reasons logistically why surrendering is so important. However, I think Hebrews 11:6 explains it best and Haitians constantly remind me of it with their constant joy, tender love, and passion.

Hebrews 11:6- "And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him."

My God is Big

From the mountains to the ocean to the stars, God's beauty radiates in Haiti. It is impossible to look up at night to the stars and not feel God's greatness. It is impossible to look out to the ocean and not see God's beauty. It is impossible to look on the mountains and not witness His power. (Matthew 17:20- I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move.) Consequently, being in Haiti surrounded by God's beautiful creation puts me in a constant state of awe. My God is BIG.

From the very first Haitian church service I ever went to, I have fallen in love with the Spirit-filled worship of our big God. Worshipping with Haitians always reminds me just how big our God is. Offering praise as the diverse body of Christ to the God of the universe is indescribable. My God is BIG.

Spending time loving on the children at Children's Hope reminds me how big my God is. Watching His love transform their hearts as they grow physically, intellectually, and spiritually is amazing. God cares for them each specifically and extravagantly. My God is BIG.

Going to different schools and sharing the incredible story of our saving grace puts God in His rightful place in my heart. Sharing His story opens my heart to see Him on His throne looking down and smiling on ALL his beloved children. My God is BIG.

However, the most amazing thing about the great size of my God is that He is mine. He is personal. He pours His great love on me personally. He shows His deep sincerity for me personally. My God is BIG, and He is mine.

The same God who knows all the stars in the sky knows the number of red hairs on my head. The same God who raises the sun every morning, rejuvenates my heart with His word in my morning quiet time. The same God who sent His son to die for this fallen world covers me with grace for ALL my failures. The same God I read to Lovensky about is the same god who carries me through each day. (Lovensky is a child at Children's Hope who had surgery on Monday, so I read him a kids creole Bible when he had to be in bed all day.) My God is personal.

My God shows me how big and personal He is at the same time by constantly working in really cool ways. Before I came to Haiti this time, the Lord burdened my heart with memorizing Scripture. I've been working with the kids at Children's Hope to learn Bible verses in Creole. For every verse they memorize, they get a piece of candy. (However, I think the nannies enjoy the candy way more than the kids do! They come to me everyday telling me the Bible verse and asking for candy!) It has been fun memorizing verse in Creole and watching the kids get excited about learning God's Word, but God has used these verses in more ways than just with our kids. I love to teach what the Lord has taught me, and I get so excited to teach Haitian children about our great God. So, when teams go to schools, I love to join them. This week I had the opportunity to do that. As I was singing and sharing with the kids about how our Savior loves and died for us, I got to teach them a verse of praise for God. The Lord gave me the opportunity to do what I love and exceeded expectations as the children and I recited Psalm 107:1 to God. My God is big, and He is personal. He uses tiny things in my life personally to experience His greatness. It always amazes me when God uses the things He teaches me personally to share for the hope of expanding His kingdom! (Romans 8:24- For in this hope we are saved. But hope that is seen is not hope at all. Who hopes in what he already has?) The Lord burdened my heart to exceed expectations! 

While I've been here, I have committed to memorizing a verse (in English) for everyday. God's Word is alive, and my God is big. Its amazing how each verse is so relevant to each specific day in unique ways.

So what is the appropriate response to God's great size and personal character? WHOLEhearted selfLESSness. It is our responsibility and greatest joy to give up ourselves. It is not about us and thank goodness it isn't. It is our privilege to give our whole hearts to Him for Him to transform and mold for His glory. My God is big, and He is the biggest. There is nothing greater or bigger than God, so we trust Him wholeheartedly. We, who are in Christ, cannot be defeated. There is nothing to fear. Wholehearted selflessness is my prayer. The holder of my world and my heart deserves ALL of me. My life is not about me but my Holder.


Psalm 107:1
Give thanks to the Lord for He is good; His love endures forever.

Sòm 107:1
Lwanj pou Senyè a paske li bon! Li p'ap janm sispann renmen nou.

2 Timothy 1:8
So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me His prisoner. But join me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God, who has saved us and called us to a holy life- not because of anything we have done but because of His own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time.

Romans 8:37
In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.



P.S. I want to thank everyone for all the encouragement for Volunteer of the Year. Thank you! It almost seems funny to receive an award for doing what I love, but the award is truly just a 'thank you' to God for wanting to use me and allowing me to be a part of His work.

Simplicity

I love the simplistic way of life here in Haiti. The simplest of things can bring insurmountable joy. I see this on a daily basis, whether through crafts at VBS, small conversations, or a high-five, faces light up. I realized, during a worship service, just how much I love this simplicity when it comes to my Father in heaven. In the tiniest or simplest of things, God can work in incredible ways, and I get to receive that insurmountable joy. I've come to realize just how simple some things are. For example, why we worship is so simple. The gospel story and are call to share it is so simple. God is SIMPLY incredible.

Worship is so simple. God showed me this in a powerful way while I sat in the back of a church, sweating my insides out, and pouring my heart out to God. God is who He is and that is why we worship. It is that simple. God being who He is is enough to get down on your knees and praise Him every moment of your life. God is our Father and Creator. He is our Savior and our Friend. He is all-knowing and never failing. How can you not fall in love? How can you not worship this great God? My desire is to praise Him constantly, so my prayer every morning is, "Lord, I give you my life. Take my heart. Guide it, mold it, and use it." I shared with the older kids in Bible Study at Children's Hope last week about worship. And we all repeated this truth together: Worship is giving God everything so that He gets the glory and we get the joy. 

The gospel is so simple. The Bible tells us that we need to have child-like faith to cling to it. I have had so many opportunities to share the gospel and the more I share the more simple it becomes. We are sinners. Jesus is our sacrifice. We must surrender our lives to this awesome God. We get to spend eternity with Him in heaven. It's that simple. Sometimes I get caught up in all the tiny details that I'm almost scared to share this incredible story, but it's not complicated. Jesus is our Savior and the whole world needs to hear it.

Our call is simple. We are called to love and through this love, share the gospel. It's that simple. So what hinders us from carrying this out? The call is simple, but this world is not. Darkness complicates the simplicity of the Light. For example, after the sun goes down in Haiti and without electricity, the people live in darkness. As we were driving over the mountain home from Port-AU-Prince, I watched the people walking or cleaning up in darkness. It still amazes me how they live without light. Darkness complicates things, but the Light of the World came to shine the simplicity of love.

"For the sake of Your Name, lead and guide me." Psalm 31:3

"You are my lamp, O Lord, The Lord turns my darkness into light." 2 Samuel 22:29

"For God who said, 'Let light shine out of darkness', made His light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ." 2 Corinthians 4:5-6